Terry Sterrenberg
December 19, 2023
In In May of 1969 when I was 21. I wrote a paper I called “A Letter to Society”. I had just come back from a life changing experience in Philadelphia. This was an urban semester away from my College DePauw University in Greencastle Indiana. I grew up in a small Illinois town of only 10,000 people, so living in the city was traumatic in a good way (life opening). My life was shaken at its roots as was my mid western value system which was very tight and meaningful for me. I grew up in a liberal Methodist religious tradition with a primary focus on Social action. I also grew up feeling it was better to be quiet than to say something “not nice” to someone. Yes indeed Hate was something I thought I had extinguished from my self. That semester I became aware of my feeling of Hate.
My initial thought in writing today was that perhaps it was time to rewrite that letter from my present life. I don’t know if that is possible or even desirable. That letter really stands on its own. Perhaps a new letter is called for. So here goes.
Hey Society, when I went to Philly I learned to hate. And what I learned to hate was you. Since then I have learned some things but you know what, I still hate you. Particularly in today’s world where your goodness is being diminished and your people are pretending not to care and feel powerless. I really do hate you. You have created alternative realities that make lying and deceit an acceptable strategy to get what a person wants in the world. And you have created a world where facts and truth are too easily ignored in making decisions. I hate you for this. I don’t like to hate I just do. You have made fear a primary deterrent for Truth. People stop looking and become shells waiting to be filled with “facts” that support only their own self interests, perceptions, and beliefs.
Fear overwhelms me and becomes the dark kernel at the center of my Hate. I don’t like it. I Hate it even more than Hate itself can generate. It makes even the greatest hope seem like nothing more than a possibility.
Let me ask you, “Are you the one that determines who I am, what I feel, and what I do? Or is it the other way around, ie that I determine who you are, what you feel, and what you do? Even in the worst of times, I can and must continue to say, “Stop! Let me do it,” I know you still need that from me and you always will. It may not look the same at 76 that it did at 21 because over the years I have learned to love you as well as Hate you. And I love your people. We have fought many battles, you and I out of hate and out of love. You need to practice your listening skills and I need to upscale my speaking skills. I often think “Not may years left. Perhaps in another lifetime. “
Still I need you to respond now! I need your integrity intact! So that I can trust my own intuition. So I can intuit your signals for change. So I can interpret your changes as direction signals for promise and hope. We are partners, you and me. Our mutual survival makes life whole.