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Some who read the post that follows this wanted to see the original letter I wrote. My only hesitation in publishing this is that I have always believed (even when I wrote this that Love is more powerful than Hate. Having said that here it is (slightly edited

Terry Sterrenberg – May 24th, 1969

While in Philadelphia I learned to identify an emotion that I had practically abolished from my existence. It was completely foreign to me and made me very uncomfortable. This was the emotion of hate. I learned to hate and I inherited the foundation for an enduring hate. And what I learned to hate, society, was you.

Yes society I hate you. I hate your money, the root of your indifference. I hate your technology because it is more important than your People. I hate your people because they blindly follow you, cop unconcerned about themselves and other people that they will never know who they really are. I hate them because they don’t strive to learn the truth. I hate them because they don’t act after they learn the truth. I hate them because they are you. I don’t like to hate . I just do.

I hate you but hate doesn’t make any difference. Hate does not change you. You’re like a baby throwing your food all over the floor and then asking for more. Eat and be nourished; and build strong muscles, for if you don’t you will starve and die. I hate you but it makes no difference, because. you see I am part of you. I make you what you are. Hating you is to hate me as well.

Why is it that people are so unimportant? Because I want a new car and a nice house People are unimportant. I hate my new care but I want it just the same. Why do I ask “Who is that person before offering my hand. Because I’m scared; scared of you, oh society, scared of you! I need you, you monster. I need you for my self. I need your greed and your technology. But society, what is their priority on life. I need your People most of all. I need your people. There is a void in me until they fill it and make me whole. I need you society. Let me know your People. Let me know your People. I don’t like to hate. Let me know your People.

And society don’t betray. Let me know your People. Could it be that I want a utopia where people strive to understand each other – a utopia where I can call you my friend. Utopias live only in hopes and dreams. Tell me, my teacher, what else is there to drive me on? Idealistic dreams are my salvation. They let me see you in new clothes toddling playfully about without spitting back. But balloon dreams explode at the hand of reality and I am suffocated by the poisonous gas of hate inside and I realize that my fantasies are merely masks hiding the grotesque features that are really yours. You monster, society! I hate you.

You haunt me. I cannot get away from you because I am indeed part of you, a strand of hair, a lonely tear, an ingrown hair, or perhaps an itchy finger wanting desperately to tear off your cotton swabs and bandages, freeing your diseased skin to the coolness of air in preparation for a new kind of treatment. You selfish demon! You coward! I am scared of you, but you are scared of me too. I don’t believe in you. I hate you and hate in the least can “motivate” change. Oh, yes change; Change in me and I AM part of you. I can be me. In the mist of your construction of me I can say “Stop! Let me do it! Let me construct me. Let ME love; Let ME think: let ME feel”, for to love, to think, to feel is to be human. I need you. But society, you also need me, to shout from the tallest roof tops. “Stop! Let me do it.”

You are a baby; and I am your mid-wife. Strange, I thought it was the other way around. You need my love to grow. Let me love you. And I need you too. Let me know your People and let your people know me. I don’t want to hate . I just do.;

But you conspire, you dragon of deceit. You hide traps in your scheme for human betterment, dictating a pseudo righteousness built on a ledge of self preservation like a giant maze, a great puzzle to solve, a path to follow. And the maze of righteousness soon becomes a web to catch and to keep. The ropes become tighter and “human ears” b ecome deafer. But some will hear and fight. Some will begin to shout for themselves detering themselves forever from the utopias of balloon dreams and saving themselves from your conspiracy to make them stagnant shells of human potential. While others will get away only to be caught in their own web of pride and confusion

You need me for your enemy, you monster. Otherwise you would surely die. You need me to nag you on. you need me to force you to walk forward and analyze your signals. You need me to hate you.

and for this

I shall l remain

Terry Louis Sterrenberg

Terry Sterrenberg

December 19, 2023

In In May of 1969 when I was 21.  I wrote a paper I called “A Letter to Society”.  I had just come back from a life changing experience in Philadelphia.  This was an urban semester  away from my College DePauw University in Greencastle Indiana. I grew up in a small Illinois town of only 10,000 people, so living in the city was traumatic in a good way (life opening).  My life was shaken at its roots as was my mid western value system which was very tight and meaningful for me.  I grew up in a liberal Methodist religious tradition with a primary focus on Social action.  I also grew up feeling it was better to be quiet than to say something “not nice” to someone.  Yes indeed  Hate was something I thought I had extinguished from my self. That semester I became aware of my feeling of Hate.  

My initial thought in writing today was that perhaps it was time to rewrite that letter from my present  life.  I don’t know if that is possible or even desirable.  That letter really stands on its own. Perhaps a new letter is called for. So here goes.

Hey Society, when I went to Philly I learned to hate.  And what I learned to hate was you.  Since then I have learned some things but you know what, I still hate you.  Particularly in today’s world where your goodness is being diminished and your people are pretending not to care and feel powerless.  I really do hate you.  You have  created alternative realities that make lying and deceit an acceptable strategy to get what  a person wants in the world.  And you have created a world where  facts and truth  are too easily ignored in making decisions.  I hate you for this.  I don’t like to hate I just do.   You have made fear a primary deterrent for Truth. People stop looking and become shells waiting to be filled with “facts” that support only their own self interests, perceptions, and beliefs.

Fear overwhelms me and becomes the dark kernel at the center of my Hate.  I don’t like it.  I Hate it even more than Hate itself can generate.  It makes even the greatest hope seem like nothing more than a possibility.  

Let me ask you, “Are you the one that determines who I am, what I feel, and what I do?  Or is it the other way around, ie that I determine who you are, what you feel, and what you do?  Even in the worst of times,  I can and must continue to say, “Stop!  Let me do it,” I know you still need that from me and you always will. It may not look the same at 76 that it did at 21 because over the years I have learned to love you as well as Hate you. And I love  your people.  We have fought  many battles, you and I out of hate and out of love.  You need to practice your listening skills and I need to upscale  my speaking skills.  I often think “Not may years left.  Perhaps in another lifetime. “ 

Still I need you to respond now!  I need your integrity intact!  So that I can trust my own intuition.  So I can intuit your signals for change.  So I can interpret  your changes as direction signals for promise and hope.  We are partners, you and me.  Our mutual survival makes life whole.

by Terry Sterrenberg

I have been asking this question my whole life.  What do I want? What do I want? 

My mother sometimes would call me selfish when I answered that question (what do I/you want) and now I feel like a four year old  when the world does not correspond to what I want it to be, asking for the sky to be blue on a rainy day.

I have a lot of people I know that  are certainly going through rough times – much rougher than me – and my life has turned out pretty amazing so far.  Still I envision a life with even less stress and more opportunities.  I say I want that for everyone and that some how my presence can magically bring it to them. What I really want is to be  a real magician where my touch, my glance, my breath brings well being and sustenance to others,  and that creates a world of peace and understanding.   (Wow, now I feel like a Miss America). 

Still, I believe there is a possible future where access to life giving relationships and processes actually feed our souls just by living our daily lives; where living our daily lives means we are part of a symbiotic  give and take culture that  by its essential nature nurtures and sustains us in the most joyous and cooperative way.  

I realize this is selfish but I don’t want to have to work at it.  I just want to live it effortlessly.

Having stated this improbable if not impossible dream I come back to not really knowing what I want if I can’t have that.  And not having magical powers of which I am aware Is there anything I want on the way to that dream.  I guess I want to live with people who have a similar cooperative dream.  Dreams are reality in the making and living them results in  transformation.  I want a group that is driven by a belief in the goodness of life itself to “work it out”, Which means my job is to pay attention.   I want to be a part of a  group that realizes the power of listening, self reflection, and cooperation. 

If  ever I was selfish  (and I assume I certainly was),  now is that time to be selfish.  It is a time to truly take care of ourselves.  The irony of course is that means also taking care of everyone else.

by Terry Sterrenberg

Monday was Laurie and my 41 wedding anniversary and I’m exhausted.  I don’t think those two are really related however. It is more likely my 75 years that is the major factor of my feeling tired. The 41 is what helps me feel like I’m 30.  We spent literally five days celebrating by going out to eat exploiting our diet and doing touristy things like going to Summit One (which presents a great view of the city as well as other experiences).  We even went Ball Room Dancing. I Loved it.  And doing it with Laurie.

When I think of it as 41 years the time seems long.  When I look through my experience it seems that we just got married.  Being single seems like  another life time.  I had wanted to get married. My parents appeared to have a good marriage and it seemed like the natural thing to desire. So I studied it like it was something I could learn and I became a marriage counselor.  I was 34 when we got married and learned that a “good” marriage was the exception not the rule. 

Laurie often says that she loves me which  creates many sweet moments between us.  I sometimes wonder why she loves me.  I know why I love her.  She has made my love life (not just sex here) real instead of a fantasy.  She pays attention to me.  She appreciates my presence.  Before we got married I drove to Edmonton Alberta through a snow storm to visit her.  During one of our conversations I got the impression that she had not been treated great in some of her past relationships with men.  I felt she had been kind of used and then left.  I told her that I  would not do that and that I was not going anywhere.  Little did I know the magic in those words.  When I ask her why she still loves me after all these years I half expect her to say something like “ Well. I’m used to having you around,” but instead she has often referred back to that conversation when I told her I wasn’t “going anywhere.”  She says that hooked her.  “You’re still here and I love you.”

When I spoke at my son’s marriage I told them to let each other know they loved each other every day.  Not an easy task unless they recreate their  relationship every day and not just take it for granted.  Perhaps that is the secret  for a good marriage. At the time I thought it was good advice.  In my case I discovered very early that marriage was indeed a  daily creation based on commitment.  It became my primary commitment.  It became my top priority and I molded my life around being married to Laurie instead of molding my marriage around individual  opportunities and tasks. I believe Laurie did the same.  I feel very fortunate to have been able to do this and I know it is not possible for everyone.   This may sound like I gave up a lot.  In fact the opposite was true.  The spaces we have moved through  and created  as a couple  have been enormous and exciting. I have done many many more things that I would have never done in my life than  not done because I was married.   I also learned very quickly that Marriage was by far the best personal growth exercise I have ever done.   This was not something I thought much about before getting married, i.e. that relationships especially intimate relationships are about growth and not about solving my issues with being lonely or feeling unloved or feeling like I reached a goal. 

Being in love for 41 years is the greatest gift I could have ever received in my lifetime.  Thank you Laurie for sticking with me. You have made real for me a fundamental belief I have, and that is that love is the juice, the power, and the magic that creates and sustains life.

by Terry Sterrenberg

In 2013 my wife Laurie Simons and I left our life in the Seattle WA area in search of an answer to this question. “Can we in this country address many of today’s social and economic issues by creating communities that look after their own food, energy and economic needs at a local level?” In some ways it seemed to be an idealistic and naive notion but even now it seems absolutely possible. We had no idea of what kind of factors outside of our control would impact and guide that search. The story of this journey continues to be told in my blog posted here on our website.

Since 2013, we have moved to New York City, spent six years in an intentional community, produced two more feature length movies, started and stopped planning our own intentional community, were gifted with a grandchild who we babysit often, and have been living with the effects of Trumpism, climate change, and Covid, like everyone else in the country. In 2021 we bought a co-op apartment in Brooklyn and we became more involved with a group called “Activate Us” who, like Laurie and me, are looking to live within a different economic social structure.

From their website: “Activate Us is a group of people doing our part to help society keep pace with human evolution. We’ve developed a practical pathway taking us from our competitive capitalist environment to one more in tune with natural processes. We call this pathway The BRIDGE™.

When Laurie and I moved to a Brooklyn apartment I felt like we had taken a huge step backward. I immediately felt as if our search for something new had brought us full circle to where we started – home ownership. In the end feeling security and familiarity won out. Cutting new ground seemed to take a back seat. I literally could not cope with all the inevitable change that was happening in the country and the universe. Hunkering down and loving the life I had available seemed appropriate. The new thing in our life was “The BRIDGE” which seemed like an ominous undertaking to take on. Now I understand this differently. The BRIDGE is literally a bridge. It is not a leap from here to there. To use a modern technological metaphor it is a pathway to a new “operating system” that uses different “apps” than our present finance-based operating system, which is based on the profit motive. The BRIDGE takes us to a different operating system where value is placed on human beings rather than profits. The BRIDGE literally moves toward a new paradigm that integrates economics (Aikido economics), community development (Coordinated Effort), and personal growth (Wakie Wakie).

Anyone in any situation can begin to use the BRIDGE and will soon discover a community around them to work with and share their life together because the BRIDGE is also about creating community wealth, building affinity, and evolving as human beings.

As I ponder the possible futures for this planet The BRIDGE provides that ray of hope I was looking for when Laurie and I left Seattle in 2013. The world sorely needs an operating system that puts life before profit and that leads to cooperation and a livable habitat. I think The BRIDGE can be that pathway.

by Terry Sterrenberg

“When I was a child I had great difficulty with the question of why human beings hurt each other. It made no sense to me that anyone could believe that shooting and killing other people resolved anything. That kind of thinking seemed stupid to me and I would get furious. Over the years my anger has tempered some and turns more into sadness and sometimes despair.”

(According to FaceBook, I wrote the above paragraph in 2011)

As an adult I have to say that my useless anger has come back. Perhaps it is regression to my wisdom as a child. Violence begetting violence, an eye for an eye, the idea that stopping a bad guy with a gun can be accomplished by providing a good guy with a gun. Such BS makes me sick to my stomach. And returns me to my childish ways.

I blame Covid. Not the virus itself, but the whole pandemic syndrome that has made people angry, confused, crazy and mindless. Of course it is not JUST Covid. Covid is just the phenomenon that has brought out the worst in many of us, pigeon holed us and sent us into separate corners where we look for like minded others who strengthen our isolation from those who have different life experience and mindsets about what is going on.

We are living in the “rub” between cooperation and competition where individuals get polarized and rigid. The spirit of competition has pitted itself against cooperation and vice versa. I wouldn’t ever say that competition or cooperation is totally bad, but we are in a transformation from a competitive society to a cooperative one. How we resolve this will determine the survival of our democracy.

When an isolated youth or adult walks into a school, theater, etc., and starts shooting, it is too late. The good guy with a gun has already been defeated. What we need are good guys with big hearts and long arms that embrace everyone and make weapons of destruction unavailable and unthinkable to those who are struggling with life. These are the people who are acting out the same struggle we all feel. A cooperative society needs to recognize that isolation is not the fault of the person being isolated but of the community that is excluding them.

by Terry Sterrenberg

Several years ago I participated in a mingling exercise at a workshop that changed my life. The directions were simple. They were to “keep moving” ; “keep walking”: “don’t stop”; “ just keep walking into the open space”. There were probably two hundred people in the room so this would seem to be a difficult task. Much to my surprise I found it quite easy. I just kept walking and there was always an open space to walk into, even when there seemed to be none. This experience branded into my brain that there was always an open space if I kept moving and looking and stepping into the unknown. The experience instilled in me a sense of freedom that I have never lost. Life never stands still when I keep stepping into the open space and each open space has been a portal to new life experiences and worlds to explore.

The theologian Paul Tillich at the end of his life was rumored as saying that “they” had done it all wrong and needed to start all over again.” I believe this about American politics and the capitalistic system in general. If capitalism is not to be just the means for creating inequality in a nation there needs to be some changes. That is why we created the “Dream We Choose” movie and the Community Wealth board game. There may be other games like it but I do not know of any, hence Laurie and I walked into the open space through a portal to a new possible economy, not an immediate fix but a possible first step toward a vision of a more fulfilling society for everyone. Some things that have been said about the game follow:

“I thought the game was particularly good for increasing people’s awareness of:

systems thinking
the complex interconnections between many ingredients for developing a business and community
the importance of long-term as well as short-term thinking
the need to balance LT vs ST payoffs (delayed gratification)
group dynamics (how decisions were made, conflicts resolved, values made explicit or not, air-time shared, people feeling included/supported/empowered)
the value of “plugging leaks”
many ways to plug leaks
the need to prepare (physically and psychologically) for unforeseen events
the feasibility and value of collaborative (community) projects, such as businesses
many ways to foster community well-being”

Recently I have begun to think that I ‘m getting too old to walk into new spaces. Today I’m thinking maybe that is not the case. So here is the deal, a hand extended and an online community for personal support. Take our hand and play the game with us and tell us what you think.

by Terry Sterrenberg

So easy these days to become cynical. To exploit a familiar Netflix title, it is time to “Look Up.” Indeed it is way past time to “look up” and to look all around.

Laurie and I are trying to create supportive conversations online. Our second one is this Thursday evening. Quite frankly talking about possible futures feels like a weak response to all the misinformation that is happening. At the same time talking is something we can all do to stay in touch with each other and lift our hearts a bit. I imagine these conversations to be a lifeline to sane individuals trying to create a future for themselves with others.

Please register HERE  to register for our conversation events and to play the Community Wealth Game and we will send you a Zoom link.

You may be wondering if this conversation is for you.

These invitations are for people who are
angry or confused
Tired of uncertainty
Tired of the delusional life of the last few years
Perplexed about how we as a country got here
Want something new and are ready for a transformation
Looking for life affirming and trust able partners/friends
tired of trying to fit your life into a new mold when all you have is the old form

This is you if you are ….
Feeling stuck and at the effect of life
Afraid of the future
Dependent on a job that makes money mostly for an employer
Overwhelmed or fed up with the covid life
Thinking armed rebellion seems like the only option
Tired of getting multiple emergency requests for money from politicians saying that your $5 is crucial to make their midnight goal.

Perhaps it is time to move past these obstacles. Someone once said “obstacles are what you see when you take your eyes off the goal”. If you could design a future what would be your goal? and what would you feel like in that future. Here are a some questions to ponder in your inquiry.

What would it be like if …
1. All concerns and aspirations of everyone were of equal importance
2. The world’s resources were the common heritage of all people everywhere . 3. What do you long for?

by Terry Sterrenberg

“If everyone could step outside their hamster wheel and create a vision, it would be a different world.”
Laurie Simons

Last week Laurie and I initiated two Zoom sessions inviting people to play our Community Wealth Game and also to have a conversation about wealth building in communities. We are thinking of offering these events every month. Both of these were ideas that we have had for some time that got side tracked by the pandemic. There is at least a ten year history to the game and wanting and wondering how to have conversations about transforming the future.

During that time we have discovered many stories or parables about change and transformation. This has been a lifelong search of trying and failing and trying again as reflected in the following poem I wrote in 1974.

“Trying”
Strong and firm
The wings of the mighty gull
Strokes the air,.
Propelling him beyond his wildest dreams.

Time and again
He climbs
higher,
Higher,
Up,
Up,

Into the farthest corners of space;
Expecting the sun to open
And let him pass through./

And then,
In an instant
Plunging to earth
To the beach
That he calls
His home.

The familiar often feels most safe. Even if it is not.

The story of the dragon fly though is where I have often found myself. Dragonfly larvae live in water and the story goes like this.

There was a mystery in the pond. Some of the creatures had escaped. They crawled up a reed. The problem was that not one of them ever came back into the pond to tell the rest of the creatures what was up there. There were rumors. Most could only image disaster, chaos, and death at the top end of the reed and were very afraid to climb the reed. The mystery of what was up there remained. So the creatures made an agreement. The next one of them who went up the reed promised to come back to tell them what was up there. One day, one of the creatures crawled up the reed and disappeared. So all the creatures waited and waited for his return. The creature climbed up the reed and out of the water into blinding sunlight. As his eyes adjusted he could see that this place was magnificent, and then, being very tired, he fell asleep. When he awoke he tried over and over to go back into the water to tell his friends of this wonderful place. But he could not. In his sleep he had grown a set of amazing wings that let him fly and fly but alas he could not swim. His wings prohibited him from going back to his friends in the the pond. So for them the mystery remained. (this is a slightly modified children’s story written by Doris Stickney called “Water Bugs and Dragonflies”)

I have felt like that dragonfly, talking a message that no one hears, unable to connect because of being part of different worlds and world views. That is what happened when I moved back to the United States after 10 years in Canada, and tried to describe what it felt like to have universal healthcare. It is why we made The Healthcare Movie. It felt like like I was speaking into the wind (sometimes like spitting into the wind).

I would like our events where we play the Community Wealth game and participate in conversations about building local community wealth to be “dragon fly” experiences
where we are able to look at and share our visions with each other and feel comfortable stumbling over our words. Where we meet the edge of each other’s worlds in confusing yet loving words. Where our awareness of our differences bring us curiosity instead of defensiveness and where we experience each others’ life entering our own. I want our conversations to reflect that we are all dragonflies crawling up that fateful reed to manifest our wings and fly out of the crushing pond of economic slavery in which we all live.

by Terry Sterrenberg

Open hearts
Open hands
A lot of Grace
A little panic
A lot of patience
Some impatience
Aggressive softness
Aggressive firmness
Lots of noise
A moment of silence
Confusion
Clarity
Confusion
Time standing still
Time pushing
Life moving, slipping, sliding
A final squeeze
A cry

Al…le…lu…ya!

Living in relationship
The spark of love in any occurrence;
the green tips of skinny branches preparing to leaf;
the moment of potential before turning;
Life coming into being.