by Terry Sterrenberg
I have been asking this question my whole life. What do I want? What do I want?
My mother sometimes would call me selfish when I answered that question (what do I/you want) and now I feel like a four year old when the world does not correspond to what I want it to be, asking for the sky to be blue on a rainy day.
I have a lot of people I know that are certainly going through rough times – much rougher than me – and my life has turned out pretty amazing so far. Still I envision a life with even less stress and more opportunities. I say I want that for everyone and that some how my presence can magically bring it to them. What I really want is to be a real magician where my touch, my glance, my breath brings well being and sustenance to others, and that creates a world of peace and understanding. (Wow, now I feel like a Miss America).
Still, I believe there is a possible future where access to life giving relationships and processes actually feed our souls just by living our daily lives; where living our daily lives means we are part of a symbiotic give and take culture that by its essential nature nurtures and sustains us in the most joyous and cooperative way.
I realize this is selfish but I don’t want to have to work at it. I just want to live it effortlessly.
Having stated this improbable if not impossible dream I come back to not really knowing what I want if I can’t have that. And not having magical powers of which I am aware Is there anything I want on the way to that dream. I guess I want to live with people who have a similar cooperative dream. Dreams are reality in the making and living them results in transformation. I want a group that is driven by a belief in the goodness of life itself to “work it out”, Which means my job is to pay attention. I want to be a part of a group that realizes the power of listening, self reflection, and cooperation.
If ever I was selfish (and I assume I certainly was), now is that time to be selfish. It is a time to truly take care of ourselves. The irony of course is that means also taking care of everyone else.